I rarely remember dreams, but I’ve always wished I could remember more of them because the bits that I do remember are intriguing. As a kid I always felt like I was missing out on something – like there was something cool going on that I was never included in. The feeling was enough to drive me to read every dream book I could get my hands on. Half of them were garbage of course, giving little more than new age interpretations of the appearance of certain images. The other half just went completely over my head as highly technical psychology texts.
Eventually I learned that many of my dreams manage to find their way out of my head through various forms of parasomnia (sleep behaviours). I won’t go into details, but somniloquy (sleep-talking) is pretty well the least embarrassing of the things I’ve been known to do. I’ve never been to see any kind of specialist, but once in a while I seriously consider it.
In any case, this post isn’t about the random acts of insanity I perform while sleeping – it’s about the feelings I often wake up with. For some reason, every so often I wake up with no recollection of dreaming at all, but with an incredibly strong emotion consuming me. Most of the time the emotion is so strong that I think it is actually the reason that I have woken up in the first place. It doesn’t happen with any one emotion more than any other – sometimes I’m at the point of laughing, once I was literally crying.
But this morning was just plain weird: I woke up with the most absolute, heart-crushing disappointment. And I was completely and utterly (though figuratively) paralyzed by it. And I laid in bed for at least ten minutes, just staring at the ceiling trying to come to grips with this disappointment before I realized how absurd it was.
Why was I disappointed? What could have created such anguish? For that 10 minutes I had but one single thought in my mind:
I will never have the opportunity to see the The Psychedelic Furs in concert.
Ya. Did I mention it was weird? And do you know what made it weirder? The whole time I could hear The Ghost in You playing in my head.
So, any new-agers want to hazard a guess at what my subconscious was trying to tell me?